The Universe...

There are several things in the Universe that I am very curious about and will probably never find all the answers to these and many other questions.

For example, how did my second grade teacher Mrs. Singleton always know what the students were up to even when her back was turned? But more recently I would love to be able to figure out why do people always seem to interrupt you when your favorite song is playing on your iPod. How do they always know? Is there some type of signal that goes off that says hey that person is enjoying their favorite music lets go interrupt them for absolutely no reason at all. I just want to scream, when I am working away at my desk and someone walks up, calls, or sends an instant message asking, “Are you busy?”. I always want to reply with, “I was until you interrupted me.” A good example is just the other day, no kidding I got an instant message from someone asking, “can u IM - i need a favor” No joke, I cut and pasted that directly from the IM window. Here is another real life example, yesterday I received an email from a co-worker and then entire emails consisted of, “SSIA.”. That was all that was in the email not even a signature. Yes, this has a meaning, it stands for “Subject Says It All”. I was suppose to realize that the real freaking message was actually in the subject line which was also just as cryptic. I was starting to think that I was going to need a dolphin to translate the damn message using clicks and squeaks. Which brings me to another question I really want to know the answer too. What the hell happened to writing in complete sentences or using punctuation? I blame all this on cell phones, people are now trying to communicate without even using actual words.

Another mystery to me is why do people think that they can actually talk or text on their cell phone and consciously pay attention to things around them. Four times in the past 24 hours I have had people almost walk into me in the hallway at work because they are talking or sending a text message on their phone or I suppose I should be politically correct “mobile device”. Why is it as human beings nowadays that we have some type of genetic reason to have to be connected to the Internet 24/7/365.

Other questions that I ask myself on a daily basis is why do people continue to insist that “fast food” needs to be more healthy. Does anyone really believe that the members of our society that rely on “fast food” on a regular basis for their daily sustenance stop to think about how many calories, carbohydrates or what the fat content of their food is. Another major question that I will probably never find the answer to is why does a person visit a “fast food” restaurant get the double burger with cheese, large fries and a small diet drink, really? After the double burger with cheese and the fries why not just clog the remaining artery and have the regular soda. As long as I am on the soda rant it’s also entertaining that people will eat at a “fast food” restaurant and get a small drink (with unlimited refills) <insert shaking of the head here>. Don't get me wrong I love a good double cheese burger with fries and a soda but the secret is moderation. People that know me would be able to tell you that I am no pillar of fitness myself but I  am trying and I don't need calorie counts on the menu or government regulations telling a restaurant what they can and cannot serve.

One of my favorite things I see every day that I wish I could find an answer for is why don't we teach people to merge while driving anymore. I see way to many people that just have no clue when they are entering traffic. Does it occur to anyone these days that the on ramp to a freeway is also known as an “acceleration lane”? The concept is really simple, use the on ramp to gain speed matching the traffic you are entering then signal and merge into existing traffic. On the other side of the fence why does nobody that’s in traffic understand what to do when someone trying to properly merge? You don't speed up and deny the person merging the ability to enter traffic. You either slow down and make room for them or if it’s safe, move over one lane away from them. Related to all of this is when two lanes merge together if more people would think if it as a zipper everything would work out great. Every other car merges in to the other lane. One car from the left merges right, one car from the right merges left. It’s a really simple concept and everyone gets to where they are going. It seems there is always one dork that just doesn't want to go along with the program and screws the entire process up. Then people being the sheep they are they all start jockeying for a better position and before you know it, nobody is moving forward at all..

Somewhat related to merging is why don't more people realize that in just about all of western civilization we do everything on the right. We drive on the right, we enter doorways on the right, we walk on the right side of a hallway, etc. Far too often either entering a building or walking in a hallway I have to do that little dance with the moron that doesn't understand where they should be when walking. I am not even going to get started on the whole left hand people having to live in a right handed world subject.

One quandary that I am sure will never be answered is why do people not leave a message when they get an answering machine or voice mail? It drives me absolutely crazy when a person says, “I tried to get a hold of your earlier but I got your voice mail.” My first reply is always, “Why didn't you leave a message?” These people always look back at me like I just showed them a naked picture of their grandmother. They never have an answer for not leaving a message. Occasionally they will say something like, “I never know what to say” or “I hate talking to those things.” I just don't get it, if it was important enough to call why not leave a message? Not to mention most phones now at least show that a person called even if they don't leave a message. When people call me and don't leave a message I just don't call them back. I figure if their time was not valuable enough to leave a message then my time more valuable than having to call them back to ask why they called.

Thanks for listening...